what i thinking lately

The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.
Chuck Palahniuk

Hi, this is me writing. Its 2 a.m already on Sunday early morning. Only me and a cup of coffee, thats why i cant sleep.
Its October. I dont know what to say actually, but i do have write something in here. The truth is I’m feeling quite awful lately. The failed bomb happened days ago, the bloody fight between what-so-called gangster in Ampera, the ironic train crash, the stupid parliament and their stupid statement, the fake and two faces people around me---just tell me straight what do you want!

You know, weeks ago I read an article about a journalist in Mexico who was being killed because he reported about a drugs dealer and their mafia story. Its quite pathetic. This is real, when you are in the country that in democracy transition just like Mexico. When the real institution lost their power and law is just law when nobody obey it.
I was thinking and hopefully this is not gonna happen in Indonesia. Another country which still in third world countries. Another country who still suffer from the authoritarian rules to democracy country. Yet, we are still in democracy transition.

And this happened in here. The bloody fight, the stupid parliament, the powerless institution, the million and unfinished debt, poverty over the countries, politics conflict between race and religion, and many many more.
Am I sound so desperate?
Am I sound so pessimistic?
Yeah, here I am, writing with all my emotions, being mad about all situation. And I wanna crying just because I don’t see any happiness around me.

But, I know, there still a happiness and love in this world.
When me and my family wasting time together, laughing and share story.
When me and mi familio in colleges having fun together, laughing and I really enjoy our moment together.
And when I saw someone stop their car in the middle of the road just because there’s a kitten wanna cross the road but almost get crash with other cars.
I know, there still a hope for this country.

When nobody solve every problem with violence.
Underline it, people! Violence never ever solve problems.
Fight, war, you name it!
There’s a BIG hope for we to make a better place to live.